


changes

by iroa



Category: Produce 101 (TV), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Dongpyo Centric, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Light Angst, Loneliness, Platonic Relationships, because I love dongpyo, i miss seungpyo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2020-12-16 07:20:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21032378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iroa/pseuds/iroa
Summary: "He was always looking for me, he couldn't live without me." He paused, a bit hesitant to admit what he was about to say."But nowadays it's the other way around. I'm the needy one.""It's because now, I have 10 members to take care of, I'm the leader." Seungwoo defends himself.Crack. It was a piece of Dongpyo's heart. But it was probably only him who could feel this aching.Changes surely hurt.





	1. assumption

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this for quite a while but I just couldn't go on and thought I could just release this part first and update it later on, maybe I'll find the motivation to do so sometime.  
I'm sorry if there's bad grammar/wording, english is not my first language.  
Everything is just fictional~ I kept thinking about what Dongpyo said during TMI News and I gotta admit, I do miss the old seungpyo times~  
So I wrote something based on this  
Hope you enjoy!

"He's like a dad to us, he takes care of us."

-"So you have nothing bad to say about him?"

"Yeah, not really but I don't think he loves me anymore." Dongpyo joked around and Seungwoo laughed hearing that.

-"How was he before then?"

"He was always looking for me, he couldn't live without me." He paused, a bit hesitant to admit what he was about to say.

"But nowadays it's the other way around. I'm the needy one."

"It's because now, I have 10 members to take care of, I'm the leader." Seungwoo defends himself.

_Crack._ It was a piece of Dongpyo's heart. But it was probably only him who could feel this aching.

〜＊〜＊〜＊〜＊〜 

Back at the dorm, most members retreated into their rooms to rest. It had been a few weeks since they debuted and they had done a handful of performances as well as shows. Their schedule was packed almost everyday with no time for a breather. Yohan wasn't in their room so Dongpyo felt bored and decided to pay a visit to Seungwoo. It had been a while since they have had a proper talk. He hopped down the floor to his room but noticed that the door wasn't closed as he heard laughter coming out. Sneaking a bit closer to it, he recognized Eunsang’s voice- along with Junho. Well, maybe he should just head back to his room and take a rest instead, was what he thought. It was not like Dongpyo would be unwelcomed if he joined them but... he didn't want to be an annoyance.

"It can't be helped," he muttered and with that, he dived into his bed.

〜＊〜＊〜＊〜＊〜

"Seungwoo-hyung!" Dongpyo pouted. "You're not giving me any attention anymore!!" From Dongpyo's playful tone, it sounded like he was just joking around again. "I'm sorry, Pyo." The elder hugged him. "I'll give you all the attention you want now." The both of them were sitting on the couch, it was pretty early in the morning and they had to get ready a bit later, so Dongpyo just decided to enjoy that moment. Even if he knew, it was just going to be temporary. "Yeah, yeah, sure." He pouted again but snuggled deeper into Seungwoo's hug. It had been a while. Shaking his head lightly, he got up from the hug and started to talk about their schedule today. He excitedly told him about what he planned to do on stage while the elder listened carefully, nodding and smiling until Hyeongjun broke the flow. "Hyung! Dongpyo! Good morning!" Just as bright as ever, he went up to the both of them and joined them.

Before long, Dongpyo noticed Seungwoo's eyebags. He must had been staying up pretty late again to console one of them, right. Every night, there was at least one member who had too much on their mind to go to sleep and since Seungwoo's room seemed to be the safest and most comfortable one, they often stayed there until they felt relieved enough to go to sleep. The good-hearted hyung he was, would stay awake until the member felt better. Their leader must had been really, really tired... The younger didn't even remember how often or how little he went to the room of trust and consult.

_Crack._ Another piece of Dongpyo's heart.

And with that, Dongpyo decided to let Seungwoo rest before they had to head off.

"Dongpyo, where are you going?" He sounded concerned. "I'm going to get ready now. Hyeongjun, Seungwoo-hyung, the both of you should probably prepare too." With that, he disappeared into his room.

Behind the closed door, he leaned his head on the wall. Maybe he shouldn't just let Seungwoo rest before they head off _now_ but let him rest in general. He was just another additional burden on the leader, being clingy and needy, just because he was not able to move on from what they had during the show. Because of his own selfishness. Right, during the show. The time during the show was different. They weren't trainees anymore, they were debuted idols now. They weren't among 101 strangers (with some exception) anymore, they were X1 with 11 members who were growing to be close to each other. Dongpyo wasn't the only one who Seungwoo had to take care of now, it was 9 members more. Seungwoo wasn't just one trainee out of many anymore, he was the eldest of the group and their leader.

Dongpyo closed his eyes and shed a tear before he even noticed, reminiscing his journey through the show with his hyung.

**Changes surely hurt.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd be happy about any comments and kudos, thank you so much for reading!  
I'll update this as soon as possible!!  
I'm trying my best to make it lightly angsty but I'm not a good writer nor am I good with words, so I hope I could get it across;;  
(Also please, if you're a writer, please I'm craving for 02' line or dongpyo fanfics, I really need them AHHAH)


	2. comfort

It had been a week since Dongpyo decided to become less clingy towards Seungwoo. And surely it went unnoticed considering how busy they were. There were moments Dongpyo wanted to go to Seungwoo right away to tell or show him something but he stopped himself and just remained silent. He didn't expect the urge to talk to him to be this big, nor did he think it would be so hard to avoid being close to him all the time. But it was. And it pained him a lot just looking at Seungwoo from afar after deciding he wouldn't go up to him to stress him with his problems.

_Seungwoo hyung got better things to do._

_He doesn't have time for me but that's understandable._

_It's understandable but why does it hurt so much._

His thoughts kept piling up.

Something inside Dongpyo hoped Seungwoo would approach the younger first, however it wouldn't happen.

Days go by as Dongpyo avoided Seungwoo with a heavy heart. Occasionally, the leader initiated a conversation with Dongpyo but he would back out of it as fast as possible. It just hurt him too much, thinking about how he had been trying to avoid him. When he saw Seungwoo sitting on the couch alone, he would go back to his room instead of doing what he wanted to do because talking to him would be unavoidable otherwise. And doing this had been going on for almost three weeks now.  
It had become harder and harder for Dongpyo to suppress it, he had so much on his mind and he just missed his father-like hyung.

On a morning, Dongpyo woke up feeling sluggish and weak. As he stood up to get changed, a sudden wave of dizziness hit him. He lost his balance, bumping into the wall in front of him and fell on the ground. Yohan woke up immediately. “Dongpyo?? Are you okay?!”, he asked while getting up and helping Dongpyo to stand up again.“I’m fine, hyung. I just felt a bit dizzy, don’t worry about me.” Dongpyo tried to smile. “You’re burning up though”, Yohan noticed as he touched Dongpyo’s cheeks. “Hyung, I’m fine, really. I don’t feel tired at all, it’ll go away in a bit,” he insisted. It was a lie though, Dongpyo felt incredibly tired from sleepless nights and worrying, but they had to perform again soon, so he wanted to practice as much as possible. “I’m going to get ready now”, and with that he left the room as fast as possible so Yohan wouldn’t question him anymore. The older one frowned, being left alone in their room. Something wasn’t right.

While the group revised the choreography again and again, Dongpyo’s condition gradually got worse. _I’ll have to take a break after this_, he admitted himself, barely able to catch up by now. _Only a bit more. Just a bit more. We’re done with this run soon. I can’t be a bother to the others.  
_Finally, they finished up the song and he rested his hands on his knees. Dongpyo tried to catch his breath. He felt hot and was freezing at the same time, his head throbbed, his body felt sweaty and cold._ If I faint now, I will worry Seungwoo hyung. I don’t want to burden him any more than I’m already doing, I already made sure I wouldn’t for the past few weeks, why does this have to happen now!?_, he thought, blaming himself. His vision became blurry as his breath quickened up.

_I don’t want to worry him._

He couldn’t hold himself up anymore. That was when Yohan approached him. “Hey, Dongpyo-“ he began and tapped lightly on his shoulders. The shorter one got startled and flinched back but that was when he completely lost his footing and fell to the ground. He just felt his body knocking on the cold floor, a sharp pain shooting through his body. It was useless, he didn’t have any strength left to get up. He couldn’t see anything anymore, nor could he feel anything. The last things he noticed before his mind drifted off completely were faint voices yelling his name. _Seungwoo hyung, was he there too?_

〜＊〜＊〜＊〜＊〜 

Coming back to his senses, Dongpyo slowly opened his eyes. He recognized his familiar bed quickly and concluded that the others must have brought him back to his room. _Was practice over already?_ He looked at his clock, only to realize that practice had ended hours ago. He slept through the whole afternoon and evening, it was 11pm. Despite sleeping for so long, Dongpyo still didn’t feel well. It was unbearably hot but if he didn’t use his blankets, it felt like he would freeze to death. Staring into complete darkness, his thoughts drifted off to Seungwoo again. All the thinking and worrying about Seungwoo lead himself to this miserable state and he ended up troubling his leader and group members once again. He felt the need to apologize and to talk about his feelings, but he didn't know how to approach it. Maybe he should try talking to Yohan about it first. Maybe Yohan can ease his mind, even if it was just a bit.

"Yohan hyung?” he whispered.

No reply.

He checked the other bed, just to notice the neatly folded blankets and no Yohan. Dongpyo sighed. He even gathered up the courage to finally talk but he was all alone in their room. Maybe he should just go to Seungwoo's room right away instead. That was what he decided to do, so he slowly got up and headed to Seungwoo. He couldn’t and shouldn’t put it off any longer. He felt his head throbbing again and his body heating up as soon as he made his way downstairs. Walking under these conditions was just ridiculous and it took him so long, what felt like an eternity.

After he finally arrived, he noticed that the door was slightly opened, a dim light shone through the gap and there were quiet voices. What a bad timing... He shouldn't bother them. He was about to leave and get something to drink instead as he recognized Yohan's voice. _So that's where Yohan was?_

"I'm sorry, hyung. Dongpyo already felt off this morning but insisted to go to practice. I should've told him off." Moreover, they were talking about him. "Don't worry Yohan, it's not your fault. It was inevitable if he went to practice like that. It’s not anyone’s fault. If anything, it’s mine.” Dongpyo didn't mean to eavesdrop, but his body couldn't move away. He remained still in front of the door.  
“That’s not true! For now, let’s just hope Dongpyo gets well soon,” Yohan responded. “Yeah…” Seungwoo hummed. An ever-lasting silence was in the air before Seungwoo broke it.

“Say… About Dongpyo, how is he doing lately?”  
Dongpyo flinched and widened his eyes hearing this question. “Dongpyo?… Why?” The younger one asked. After another few seconds, Seungwoo started “Well, he hasn’t been talking to me at all, or rather… He has been avoiding me?” He sounded confused, it hurt Dongpyo’s heart.  
“That’s why I wanted to ask you if you had noticed anything.”  
“Honestly, now that you mention it… If you see it from an outsider’s point of view, you probably won’t notice anything. But… How should I put this…” Yohan locked his eyes on the floor. “He makes a pained expression sometimes.”  
“A pained expression??” Seungwoo raised his voice a bit. “Yes, especially when…” Yohan paused before he looked at Seungwoo again.

“Especially when he glances to you.”

Seungwoo felt his heart drop and let out a distressed sigh, ruffling his hair. “Yeah, I thought so… It’s been like that, huh…”

“Seungwoo hyung, what do you mean?”

“I felt that something wasn’t right. I wonder how long it’s been like this now.”

Dongpyo’s jaw dropped. He wasn’t aware that both of them noticed his stupid act. He wanted to step in but he didn’t know where to start if he did. His mind was completely blank, everything just felt ridiculous now. “Yohan, can you talk to Dongpyo? I feel like he won’t be honest towards me.”  
“Sure, I can do that. But why would you think-…” Seungwoo interrupted him.  
“Dongpyo probably started to avoid me because I seemed stressed out. Which I was honestly. But it was never my intention to make any of you uncomfortable by it. Especially Dongpyo probably thinks that he’s being burden… Or that’s the only reason I can think of why he would avoid me, considering the past events.” Seungwoo took a deep breath. “Just because I’m incapable of taking care of him. I’m so stupid.”  
Dongpyo’s heart throbbed at these words, his head feeling like it would explode every moment.  
“I failed as a leader who wanted to take care of everyone… furthermore, I failed as a person he trusted deeply.”  
Dongpyo felt a tear drop, clutching his chest. _That’s not true, you’re a great leader and a great person_, he wanted to tell him. “I was supposed to be there for him.” His voice started to tremble. “Hyung…!” Yohan didn’t know what to say either. “Don’t put all the blame on yourself…!” But Seungwoo continued, ignoring what Yohan said. “I feel sorry. I sometimes wish I could return to the time during the show with Dongpyo. The time where I could shower him with love.”

“Seungwoo hyung! Don’t…. Don’t say something sad like this…!!” Dongpyo stood in front of the now widely opened door with tears streaming down his face. His heart ached so badly, he wanted to crumble down. Yohan and Seungwoo both turned their head around, now realizing that Dongpyo had been standing there. Seungwoo stood up to approach Dongpyo. “How long…-“ The older started but got interrupted by him. “Don’t say something like that… The other’s need you too. It’s not just me, I know it,” he admitted between his sobs. “And we’ve come this far… Why would you say you want to go back to those horrible times when we have just reached what we dreamed about for so long.” He asked "why", but he knew the reason. Dongpyo couldn’t believe he was the one who had driven Seungwoo into saying those things. He had made everything even worse. Now, he was literally breaking down in tears and Seungwoo embraced him into a tight hug, wrapping his arms around the trembling fragile boy. “I’m so sorry,” Dongpyo sniffled into Seungwoo’s chest. The older one was speechless while he looked at Dongpyo bawling his eyes out. “If possible, I wanted to take away at least one of your worries but I just made it worse,” his voice cracked as he ended his sentence. Yohan walked past them, patted Seungwoo’s back to signalize that everything was going to be fine and left the room. The leader waited for Dongpyo to calm down while keeping him in his arms, stroking his back to comfort him. It broke his heart to see his precious friend being in pain already due to the fever, but he couldn’t bear seeing the boy to even _cry_ in front of him. And all because of him.

They both moved to the bed to sit on after Dongpyo’s tears have stopped. Facing each other, Dongpyo was too flustered and uneasy to look into Seungwoo’s eyes, so he avoided them. As if the older read Dongpyo’s mind, he held his hands to give him a sense of comfort. “Look, Dongpyo,” Seungwoo started, not sure where he should even begin. “You have a fever running at the moment and it might have gotten worse. I would rather suggest, you sleep here tonight and I can sleep with you. But, with all the things on your mind right now, you probably wouldn’t be able to sleep, would you?” Dongpyo gave a small nod, still averting his eyes.

“Would you like to talk about it, Dongpyo?” Seungwoo asked with a calm voice. The younger hesitated a bit before opening up. This is the reason why he came to Seungwoo’s room after all. He just didn’t expect to hear Seungwoo and Yohan talking about this. But it was now or never.

“I felt like nowadays, you pay less attention to me. So I thought it was fine, I just had to be the one who calls for you instead of the other way around. But then I noticed that it must really take a toll on you. You were fulfilling your position as a leader properly, everyone trusts you. And I knew that, at the same time, our relationship would change.” Dongpyo glanced at Seungwoo to check what kind of face he was making right now. Pain and Worry. He looked back at the bed sheets. “At first I thought that I would be fine by this change. Until I saw you so tired and stressed out, I didn’t want to bother you, because I surely am a bother. It was just my own selfishness wanting to have you by my side for myself. I know that it’s not just me anymore like during the show. I know it. And so I wanted to lessen the burden on you, I just really didn’t want to concern you. I avoided you, just to make sure I wouldn’t trouble you with my problems. However I ended up making everything even worse. What I didn’t know is that I am this weak and I really couldn’t do this, I put up a strong front, pretending it didn’t bother me at all when it did. All of this ended up troubling you and the others again. Instead of lessening the burden on you, I made you feel even worse, I…,” Dongpyo was close to cry again. “I made you say those horrible things.” He unconsciously squeezed Seungwoo’s hand which he was still holding when he remembered what he just heard in front of the door and it stung his heart. “I’m so sorry, Seungwoo hyung. It wasn’t my intention to make you think like that. I don’t want you to worry about me. I don’t want to annoy you. But…

I was so lonely,” Dongpyo whispered, tearing up again.

Seungwoo was quick to wipe away the tears that had formed in Dongpyo’s eyes and took a deep breath.  
“Dongpyo, now listen closely, okay,” Seungwoo began, squeezing Dongpyo’s hands back. “Can you look at me?”  
He followed his request, now looking into Seungwoo’s eyes.  
“You were and never will be a burden on me. I don’t want you to think like that because it's not true. And I am not the great leader you think I was. After all, I made you feel like this.” Dongpyo was about to interrupt Seungwoo, telling him that he was wrong but Seungwoo continued.  
“I unintentionally started to neglect you and it is indeed my fault. And I am sorry I put that heavy burden on you.” Seungwoo’s eyes looked so apologetic, regretful and sad. "Do you think you can forgive me?" Dongpyo was shocked and pouted. "There is nothing to be forgiven in first place though!? I was just being childish and selfish. And... I hope that we can go back to the time before I avoided you..." Seungwoo let out a small chuckle. "Of course. Maybe we can go back even further, Dongpyo." He smiled at him. Dongpyo gave him a whiny "yes" before falling into Seungwoo's arms out of relief. Exhaustion suddenly hit him from all the crying, he was really tired now. It was almost midnight and additionally to that, he still had his fever to fight against. Slowly, he drifted off into a comfortable sleep as Seungwoo laid him down next to him, letting him sleep in his bed. "I missed you," Seungwoo whispered and stroked his hair. He was about to doze off next to him too before he heard Dongpyo mumbling "missed you too..."

Despite all the pain both of them went through, Seungwoo was glad the misunderstanding could be erased and Dongpyo had the strength to confront him about it. He swore to himself to never let this happen again.

As Dongpyo woke up the next morning, he still felt feverish. But at least one thing changed from before. He didn't have to wake up with a heavy heart anymore. Lying next to Seungwoo who was still sleeping, he decided to snuggle in a bit more, feeling the warmth and comfort he had missed so much.

Yes, this was the best place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading up until here, I hope you enjoyed it!  
Again, I'm sorry if there's bad grammar/wording, english is not my first language.  
I felt like my end was a bit rushed but I still hope it was enjoyable;;;  
I'd be happy if you left your thoughts in the comments!!  
In my mind, Dongpyo might be strong, might act strong, but in the end he's still a baby and it's fine to cry and being clingy ❤️
> 
> Anyway, I finally created a twitter account so follow me! @iroapyo  
We can just casually talk, I sometimes tweet too~!  
See you next time!


End file.
